Life-changing events

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August 17, 2007 by kellylock

There are so many events that shape who we are. Taking my son to college this last week was one of them. It’s the hardest thing I’ve done. Leaving him at campus, walking into an empty house, where all his things once sat–or were thrown, tossed–were so hard. I can’t even explain. A friend said, “It’s like a lung collapses and you just can’t breathe.” That’s a good analogy.

That being said, I’m adjusting. It’s only been 48 hours and I can already feel the difference. That’s not to say tomorrow I won’t freak out, though!

Thank heavens for my friends. I stopped at Stacey’s on my way home. Tomorrow my friend Angie is coming up and we’re meeting Tina for lunch. Numerous emails from friends and co-workers have helped. So many have been in this same situation. A handful even know what it’s like to have their only child leave. It is different with just one child. There is no one left here at home to divert my attention. The house is eerily quiet. I don’t have to worry about what I’ve fixing for dinner, which, I suppose, is a plus, and all the time is mine. I’m glad I like me! I’m glad I have lots of interests and I’m glad school will be starting soon so that I’ll have something to occupy me.

It’s amazing how fast time goes. It seems just a few days ago, my little guy was running around the house, his tangled blonde hair, his smile, his constant movement and always asking, “How tall do you think I’ll be?” It seems like just yesterday I dropped him off at kindergarten, his eyes swelling with tears as he wrapped his fingers through my hair–his security blanket, strangely enough–and I walked out of the building, leaving him to learn all the things that his teacher had planned that year. I got in the car and cried my eyes out, knowing that some day he’d leave for good and the pain that I was feeling as I drove away from his elementary school would triple. Silly me. It more than tripled.

Each morning, it will get better. Each evening, this will subside. I’m becoming someone new. A better me–or so I hope.

Posted in friends | 7 Comments

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7 Responses to “Life-changing events”

on 17 Aug 2007 at 10:22 pm1 lesley

I’m right there with ya sister! Oh, there will be more tears but you just keep pushing forward. He will do good! It’s like you have to find out who you are again. Just dive into that art! It’s al I know to tell you.
on 18 Aug 2007 at 2:49 am2 Stacey

Dangit Kelly! This is awful and I wish I were closer. You are amazing that you can even get through this at all, and I’ve said it before, gonna say it again–you’re my superhero! I love ya, and ya love me! xoxo
on 18 Aug 2007 at 10:06 am3 Lara

Hi Kelly
Thanks for that comment on my blog about the black square.
Eventhough I can not fully understand your heartbreak because I haven’t experienced the empty nest syndrome..I don’t even have kids…But I do know that it will get better with time. Just have to hang in there. It’s WILL get better
on 18 Aug 2007 at 10:14 am4 Lara

Also wanted to let you know that I have linked to you on my main website
on 18 Aug 2007 at 8:54 pm5 Stacey

Hope you’re having a splendid time as I type this! xo
on 19 Aug 2007 at 12:59 pm6 Stacey

Kelly,

Get over to my blog–claim your award. I gave you one–it’s your first EVER blog award. Now you have to be nice, no excuses! xoxo
on 19 Aug 2007 at 1:39 pm7 Cat

Hey Kelly! Its me Cat (Staceys friend that tagged along to visit you and others!) Great to see you blogging!

I can’t imagine how you are feeling just yet, but it won’t be long when my First Baby boy will be venturing out on his own. I am dreading that day! Thank goodness, like you said, I do have 2 others to keep me preoccupied.

Take care!